Sunday, July 13, 2008
long time nv post agn... of coz is becoz of proj... every wk i hav at least one proj to submit n oso at least one test... tired n stress... recently tings happen of course... tot of forgetting it but smtimes sm tings r nt tat u wanna forget n it would b juz gone in ur memory... smtimes we may wan to keep smtings untouched n leave it as beautiful as it appear once to us... but as time goes by, u will feel it's impossible... i've tried hard to keep everyting in e shape they used to b, however i realise it is really impossible... coz ppl will change... i agree i've changed too... in e past, i used to b quiet, no confident, everyting oso dun dare to try, scared to do tings alone... but now, i nt as quiet as i used to b, slightly mre confident den last time, willing to try tings out n oso prefer to b alone smtimes... these may b gd n oso bad... but i cn say i've grown up throughout e yrs... wif frens, families n oso through wking exp... when i go out, i used to b scared to ask retailers qn when i keen to noe e ans... even if go out as a grp, i used to hide myself n wait for ppl to ask e qn instead... but now, mayb i might nt hav tat much patient so if we r deciding who to go n ask, i would rather collect e qn n went to e person n ask straightaway... it really doesn't seem to b e past me... but mayb through many tings happen, i've learn to protect myself... at least a little n tats really enough for me... i'm really contented... although tat little protection isn't vry strong, but at least it lead me to a mre tinking person... coz as tings happen, i will tend to tink abt it... if thr's a problem occur, i will tend to solve it... but once i've tried n it's unsuccessful, i will giv up... wun really regret as at least i've tried... through e past 18yrs of living in tis world, thr's really alot of diff kind of ppl... they may juz enter n leave anytime... sm hav brought hurt to me but really, wat cn i do if they do it purposely? smtimes i tend to get frustrated n try to b fierce... but mayb tats e only way i noe to hide myself bah... i used to b everyting nvm... but as time goes by i found out tat e mre nvm i accept, e mre hurt i brought to myself... how many ppl noe i've been crying for how many times? how many ppl noe wat really happens to me? n who noes they themselves had alr brought e hurt to me? even if we had a cut, it takes time to heal... n even if it heals, thr's still a scar... tat was wat every hurt ppl gave had left for me in e end... nt everyting cn compensate... n i juz feel tat nth cn really compensate for e loss n hurt tat u had brought to e person... i may b strong infront of u, but who noes wat was my true feeling at tat time? ppl might hav wrong idea of me, hate me or dun even wanna befren wif me... but wat else i cn do... if i had alr make myself clear, i will juz wait for e person to decide... n at tat moment, i'll juz kept quiet... i tink so many yrs had past e only ting nv change in me is keeping quiet... nt as in shy n dunno how to talk to ppl... is i would rather b alone... mayb i alr used to being alone le bah... smtimes walking alone on e street or taking bus, tots will run through my mind... smtimes had e feeling of heart break n yet i cnt let my tears out as i'm outside n i dun wish when i'm crying n ppl thr looking at me... but when i'm alone at hm, i definitely wun hide my feeling... crying out is e best way to release myself frm e sad feeling i had at tat moment... i love to listen to sad song... as i feel tat they seems to b so suitable for my life n e feeling tat i had... ...
Labels: try to smile when u r sad is really hurtful...
This is how all things worked...
3:01 PM
