it has been quite a long time since tis type of tings happen... but tis time is rather diff... coz it makes me feel really lost... lost until i dun even noe wat to do, wat can i do n wat i'm doing...

tis is e first time i dun even noe wat to do when i'm outside... first time walk pass all e shops till i dun even noe whr else i cn walk to... first time walking in e supermarket till so emo... first time buy tings which i dun intend to in e first place... first time go to a place which makes me wonder y i go thr... first time walk pass a coffeeshop when i'm famished whr i dun even feel lyk eating... first time dun even noe how to settle my dinner myself... first time dun even noe whr else cn i hide myself... first time feel so scared when i'm outside... first time feel so lonely when i'm all alone... first time dun even noe whr cn i head to... first time dun even dare to go hm... first time nth to do n yet trying to hide smting n find smting redundant to do... first time e road seems to b so empty to me... first time stay at e bus stop for vry long n yet nt a bus nor a person came... first time dunno if i shd board e bus... first time dunno whr to alight frm bus... first time alight at a stop whr it isn't my destination at all... first time juz follow whr e stranger infront of me heading to... first time so blur inside e supermarket... first time keep looking at my phone n wish thr's a msg or a missed call... first time wanna call my family n yet dun even dare to do so... first time walk rd n rd e place wif no final destination... first time i dun even noe how to reply my parents qn... first time i'm so scared of my parent asking me qns... first time i dun even dare to tell my bro wat's gg on... first time feel so stress walking alone on street... first time wan to walk hm but dun even hav e courage to... first time feel e nite breeze to b so heartless... first time feel so helpless... first time feel so hard to ans a simple qn frm my dad... first time my heart sudd contract when answering my dad's qn... first time feel so hard to pretend i'm ok when reached hm... first time lost of words...

tis whole list of first time juz happen within a few hrs... i really dunno how shd i react... n yet aft encounter all tis, i dun even noe wat's my exact feeling... really lost... nt only in words but in mind too...

Labels: lost... wondering will it b always lyk tis throughout my life... speechless...