Monday, June 7, 2010
i tink i've decided... decided nt to forgive... i really sick n tired of all e nonsense n rubbish tat my dad had gave me... had been keep controlling my feelings juz to let ppl tot tat i'm leading a normal n happy life... but wondering how many of u noe actually i'm wearing a mask?? but nw i truely breakdown... nt becoz i lost to my dad but becoz of disappointment... wondering y i hav tis type of dad??
sim sch fees got to settle by tis sat... 5k plus... but prob is i cnt cough out e money... my dad dun even wanna hlp n in fact i oso dun bother wan him to hlp me... intend to rely on myself but i dun hav tat sum of money n oso unable to ask for bank loan coz i haven turn 21 yet... feel so hlpless nw... asking my mum if she cn hlp me get e 5k out but she oso dun hav so much money... nw she is oso worrying abt e money... although i manage to ask my eldest bro hlp me wif e bank loan but even if apply, it nd 7 wking days to process which eventually still cnt make it on time for e payment... wat shd i do??
seeing my mum keep worrying abt my sch fees n keep sighing... i feel so heartpain but wat shd i do nw?? shd i really nd to giv up my studies?? i really dun wanna c my mum so worried abt e money n feel so unhappy... she told me she tried asking my dad to lend her so tat i cn pay e sch fees... but my dad dun wanna lend n even nag at her n wan her to pay... wth... had been trying to find ways to solve e prob but my power r juz so small... i'm really lost... dunno wat to decide n which step to move on... really nt fated to get into uni?? so near n yet so far... hlpless... Labels: i'm really tired of keep crying... ...
This is how all things worked...
11:32 PM
